the one thing i am selfish with

“selfishness” is not a characteristic that i would usually encourage… but i will say this: “be selfish with your energy.” when it comes down to it… you don’t have a lot of things under control. a lot of things during the course of a day happen because of other circumstances, people, time, sheer luck…. that beautiful serendipity, are forces you have no power over. the one thing you do have 100 percent control over is your energy and what you use it for.

spending energy on things and people who do not respect it is a waste. yes, in the end you will always gain experience and learn a lesson, but your time and dedication is sometimes worth more.

madelaine derose madau vagabond myanmar
sandman pagoda in mandaly, myanmar… photo by my dad

there is emotional energy… you can spend it on people who are unreliable, people who  usually come late, people who seem to have trouble keeping promises. you will (naturally) get upset about them not respecting your time. and that is a waste of your precious energy. don’t spend energy on people who are not worth it.. not worth you.

there is creative-energy…. this applies to professionals in the creative field. if you decide to put ideas, emotion and thought into a project, know what you want in return and say it. apart form the experience and connections we gain from creative exchange, respect is what we want. will a “thanx, good job.” do? will a designer handbag do? or a 6 digit salary? know what your energy is worth and don’t be afraid to say it. clearly. just because creativity is not an object doesn’t mean it is free.

i have been spending time with creative-souls who fill me with warmth and energy (hopefully) as much as i do them. but i have also been putting a lot of effort and time into projects and people who are not investing in me in return. how other people decide to handle situations and treat me, again is completely out of my control. but in order to stay strong and in control of my life, i think it is ok to be selfish with my precious energy….. since i am the only one who can and will decide if it is spent correctly.

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