so yesterday i deleted my first blog…. the one i started back in 2013, in ny, in the middle of the night, because a mosquito was tormenting me. the first posts were mainly make-up tutorials (at the time i was a designer in a major fashion company and needed an outlet, to not die of creative-starvation), later i posted more of my amateur photography and my first atempts of creative (aka. dyslexic)-writing. (all of which multiplied greatly after my vagabonding-adventure started in 2014.)
well…. deleting my first blog was an accident. and i was in-fact able to recover it. but the point is that for a moment i had to clam myself down by telling myself that “all those silly little posts are useless…and i don’t really look at that blog anymore anyway” but then i remembered that some of those tutorials were maybe not “thaaat silly” and how some of my jumbled thoughts that i formed into articles (with the help of my sister) were relevant to me and that they actually (according to recent feedback) were quite inspiring.
good thing the internet does not forget and through this incident i rediscovered posts like: the best feeling / the ultimate luxury / risk.. and found photos that without i wouldn’t believe myself that i was actually on tianmen mountain, for example.
and unlike in my post loosing things… (where i wrote about loosing material things and “getting rid of” my hair to prove to myself that i don’t neeeeed them) there are times when loosing something can recall how important it was to you at a time and how important it actually still is. los of something might be painful, but at the same time it can be used for inspiration (because hey, otherwise this post would never have been written), motivation (because thinking “some of those tutorials, photos, and articles were actually kinda good” did give me a push), and yet another friendly reminder the actually important things like memories, experiences, and life-lessons can not be lost.
…of course aaalmost loosing something will have the same effect.